1 Samuel 1:6 - “…her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her.”
Elkanah was married to two women: Peninnah and Hannah. The former had children while the latter, none. The relationship between the two women was anything but healthy. When reading the first chapter of Samuel, this verse stood out for me. In particular, three words: rival, provoking, and irritate.
A rival is simply one person feeling in competition with another. Jealousy and resentment stirred in Peninnah’s heart toward Hannah. The way she communicated her feelings was to needle Hannah. The harassment was intentional, designed to hurt and injure Hannah. The behaviors point to Peninnah’s mean-spirited attitude.
There are a few clues within the first chapter of Samuel to help us understand the dynamics of such a relationship. One is found in verse 4 and 5.
“Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her….”
As I read this passage, I imagine Peninnah saw and felt this display of affection between Elkanah and Hannah. I imagine she felt deeply hurt and injured. Another clue is found in verse 7.
“…her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.”
Later in the chapter, Hannah describes herself as a “woman who is deeply troubled…praying in great anguish and grief.”
As I think about this verse, there is something familiar about the behaviors and attitudes. I recognize them. The dynamics of the above dysfunctional relationship reflect my own experiences. Elkanah, Peninnah and Hannah were all going to worship the Lord where the sons of Eli were priests. In modern terms, they were going to church.
There have been many times I felt deeply embarrassed and ashamed about the dysfunctional behaviors and attitudes within my family. So, in an effort to relieve my strong emotions of guilt and embarrassment, I put on a façade. It was the only thing I could do to avoid facing the hard truth.
The good news is that God takes the real stuff of dysfunctional behavior and attitudes, transforming them into tools for shaping his good purposes. This does not mean that to maximize God’s purposes we should live in dysfunctional ways. Rather, it means that despite our inability to live above our dysfunctional ways, God transforms what we ourselves cannot do.
When our hearts grieve in anguish over the embarrassing behaviors we feel ashamed over, we can learn to rest in a God whose warm love and compassionate grace accepts us just as we are; as he creates his beauty out of our ashes. Always remember an important point: Jesus died for the ungodly. He surrendered his entire life to reach those who rejected him. He suffered immense pain to communicate his unswerving desire to love those who don’t deserve it.
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