Ever play on a winning team?
Ever participate in a group that really came together and was somehow better together than any sum of the individuals ought to have been?  There’s something about that, isn’t there?  The whole concept of stacking hands and agreeing that in order to be the best we’re going to have to do it a certain way.

Here’s the thing…in the same way that team had had a way of doing things, your group can too. In fact, you do have a way…even if you don’t know it; even if you didn’t plan it!

Why not take advantage of the beginning of a new year to get your group talking about what’s next? And there’s no better way to do that than to pull out a small group agreement or covenant and talk through your hopes for the new year.

 

What should you talk about? Two basic ideas:

• What are your values?
• What are your expectations?

What Are Our Values?

When you’re working through the values of your group, we suggest that you talk about the following values:

• Group Attendance: Even if my boss offers tickets to the big game, I know the group meeting has priority.
• Safe Environment: Our members will feel loved and heard because there won’t be quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.
• Confidentiality: Obvious…but necessary. What happens in the group stays in the group.
• Spiritual Health: The goal is not just attendance! It’s that over time we’d become more like Christ.
• Inviting People: It’s not just us! We’ll be on the lookout for ways to include new people when appropriate.
• Shared Ownership: Good groups involve the whole group in the action. Rotating facilitators, moving the meeting different group member’s homes, allowing everyone to play a role…these things predict a better group.
• Spiritual Partners: No getting a round it, if there are more than three of us the path to growth comes through pairing up for accountability and encouragement. It may be a new practice…but it is a healthy one.

You may arrive at additional values.  There’s no magic list.  The key is to spend some time working on this if you want your group to be healthy.

What Are Our Expectations?
This is simpler…but just as important. These are the basic ingredients of our small group life.

• When will we meet?  Not just the day but the time that we start and stop.  Agreeing on this is a big detail.  It allows our group to honor the value of group attendance.
• What will we do about the kids?  Figuring out a childcare solution is an important key.
• What will we eat?  It may not be all about the food, but agreeing on what we’ll eat can keep us on the right track.
• Will we attend the same service?  Hanging out together, outside the meeting, goes a long way.

When Should You Have This Discussion?

When is the best time to have this discussion?  If you’re a new group there’s no time like the beginning.  It’ll get you off to a great start.  If you’ve been around for a while without an agreement you may want to ease into it. 
Whether you’re brand new and want to get off to a great start or you’ve been around and need a little boost, a small group agreement can be a powerful tool for spiritual growth.  Why not take advantage of the season and put one to work?
Looking for a CommUNITY Group Covenant form for your group?  Click here and just print:  http://eumchurch.org/fileadmin/ministries/Comm_Groups/community_group_covenant.pdf

Sometimes Deilbert is able to capture the concept in a whole new way.

The Role of CommUNITY

Why does it matter whether people gather in community and join God on His mission? The current goal of the mission of God (after the fall and before Jesus comes back) is to redeem a lost world. All throughout scripture, community is an integral component of accomplishing God’s mission. God works through people to redeem His world. Why does it matter that we work on this mission of God together? Because there is power in “together”.

Community coincides with the beginning of time and is rooted in the Trinity. Genesis 1:26 reads, “Let us make mankind in our image”. We see at the start of community the Trinity is intimately involved. So much so that in Genesis 2:18 which is set in the most perfect environment known to mankind, the Garden of Eden, we are told that “alone” is not good. Ecclesiastes 4:9, 12 gives us the importance of not being alone; “Two are better than one” and “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Jesus’ entire journey was through community. He modeled community by starting community with twelve disciples who would carry out His mission. Jesus showed a reproducible and strategic model for the mission to continue. The early church in Acts took seriously “community” set before them to see God’s mission of the Great Commission and Great Commandment fulfilled. Chapter two of the Book of Acts shows us what community looked like and what it did. It fellowshipped, it discipled, it served, it evangelized, and it worshipped. As a result, the mission spread. At their best, churches and communities of people are a reflection of these original communities. When these purposes are fulfilled in balance or harmony, they fulfill the mission of God. Acts 2 is within months of Christ’s giving the Great Commission and that mission is being fulfilled through community. The Lord added to their number daily, because they obeyed Christ in community.

How did God add to their number daily? In Acts 5:42 we see the delivery systems for fulfilling mission—“Temple Courts” and “house to house”. “Temple Courts” are the equivalent of our modern weekend services. “House to House” is our small groups – communities of Christ-centered people. Fifty-eight times in the Word we see “one another”. Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs. There is an assumption of close relationships for these communities, not just a casual crowd of people but implied intimacy. The metaphors of taking community deeper are seen throughout the NT as language of “family” is always used over a less intimate view of “teacher/student”.

Do you remember the story of the paralytic in Luke 5? Four men broke through the roof of a synagogue to lower their friend to Jesus. Sometimes it takes something that radical to do God’s mission and lead someone to Jesus! Notice what the Bible says in Romans chapter 12, “Since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other and each of us needs all the others.”

How can your community help you see God’s mission fulfilled? Here are just a few ways:

Your community helps you care about people who don’t know Jesus
Your community helps you believe God can reach the impossible person
Your community helps you make a plan for God’s mission to happen
Your community helps you overcome difficulties that try to stop God’s mission
Your community helps you have courage try something different to accomplish mission
Your community helps you work together to get the God’s mission done
Your community helps you to be willing to pay the cost to do God’s mission

If you are not in relational community of believers, a CommUNITY Group, you’ll miss God’s design for his mission to be fulfilled. This is the message Christ gave to us. This is the message you need to share with those in your ministry and circle of influence.

BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS

Everyone is a “10” somewhere. Everyone is good at something and can benefit the whole group when they use their gifts. I tell my leaders all the time, “You are successful not if you do all the work. You are successful if you bring out the best in others.” A good leader is a facilitator who understands that everyone has a part to play and no part is too small.

One of the great blessings of utilizing the gifts of all the members is that they feel like they have something to contribute and that they belong. The more the ministry is shared the better off everyone is. In almost every case of groups disbanding in my experience, I have found a leader who was doing everything and not sharing the ministry. The most effective groups form core teams.

Your role as group leader is not to lead the entire group of eight or ten or twelve. Your role is primarily to shepherd and disciple (develop) two or three people in your inner circle – and then to share ownership and leadership with them. “

My group has come alive since praying in and incorporating a core team approach. But don’t settle with simply forming a core team and utilizing the gifts of the team. Everyone who gathers with the group has something to share. Obviously people are at all different levels of discovering and using their gifts. As a leader I focus on how I can bring out the best in others. The main question I ask myself after the group has met is this: Did everyone participate and did people walk away edified or built up?

Both of these are extremely important factors in being a healthy small group. Unfortunately, I see a lot of group leaders leading alone. It's so good to see a group that's getting this right and seeing the blessings and benefits!

If you ARE sharing leadership and ownership, what blessings have you seen?

If you are NOT sharing leadership and ownership, what are your biggest obstacles?

Some're Here

What is your community group doing this summer? Did you know that summer can actually be the BEST time for community groups? It’s a great time to get outside together, serve together, do more socially together, play together, learn some new things together. What’s the key word here? That’s right … together! Here are some ideas:

• Pull out your calendars now to plan when you will and won't meet over the summer.
• Make a commitment to one another to be there whenever possible.
• Go on trips together: camping, vacation, etc.
• Lighten up the Bible study for the summer and do some devotional stuff together.
• Do more Bible do's rather than Bible studies.
• Meet on the deck, back porch, or at a park.
• Study the one another passages from the New Testament over the summer, and do each of them in a creative way. (A group I led did this one year. We rotated homes and whoever hosted planned the "one another" study and application. One week we served one another by washing each others' cars. Another week we encouraged one another by doing a fun affirmation exercise. Another week we spoke one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs by having a creative worship time at a park. Every week we offered hospitality to one another without grumbling!
• Serve together. There are lots of great serving projects you can do, especially outside, over the summer. Need ideas? Check out the Service Projects on the CommUNITY Group link.
  
• Have fun together!
• Invite some friends who are not in a small group (or in a church) to join you!
• Go fishing together (or biking, hiking, swimming, rock climbing skydiving, etc.)
• Add your ideas! Respond to this post or send them to Susan at sodell@eumchurch.org and I'll share them!

Basics of Community Group

     Community groups are small groups of people who share their lives with each other. What is the purpose for small groups of people to meet in a particular place? The hope is for the people to connect emotionally and spiritually. But why? Is it simply to be involved with another person’s affairs? No. All that does is provide the opportunity for gossip to develop, especially for busybodies (if this last phrase stings a bit, it might be time for some personal reflection…).
     What, then, is the reason for community groups? It is my intention to support the idea that community groups can provide an atmosphere conducive to true personal growth. When we invite people into our lives, we give them access to who we are. As this occurs, something vital inside us is nourished.
I have known persons who claim they are not social, that they would rather be by themselves. I have also known persons who claim that small groups are unsafe environments. While it is true that there are people who enjoy solitude and those who have painful experiences of small group, the real truth of the matter is that we are, at bottom, relational. Our brains were designed to interact with other brains. Our hearts were created to mingle with other hearts. We cannot remain in solitude for long periods of time without it becoming stifling isolation.
     In support of my argument, I will propose two principles:
1) God is the source of all that is, ever has been or ever will be. As such, he is the supreme authority and discovering how he designed life to be lived is of supreme importance.
2) While Adam was created with the capacity for deep, meaningful relationship with God, he was also created with a need for healthy relationship, to intimately and richly connect with other human beings.

Come back soon…we’ll discuss this issue further!

What a Wonderful Love!

1 Samuel 1:6 - “…her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her.”

     Elkanah was married to two women: Peninnah and Hannah. The former had children while the latter, none. The relationship between the two women was anything but healthy. When reading the first chapter of Samuel, this verse stood out for me. In particular, three words: rival, provoking, and irritate.
     A rival is simply one person feeling in competition with another. Jealousy and resentment stirred in Peninnah’s heart toward Hannah. The way she communicated her feelings was to needle Hannah. The harassment was intentional, designed to hurt and injure Hannah. The behaviors point to Peninnah’s mean-spirited attitude.
     There are a few clues within the first chapter of Samuel to help us understand the dynamics of such a relationship. One is found in verse 4 and 5.

“Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her….”

     As I read this passage, I imagine Peninnah saw and felt this display of affection between Elkanah and Hannah. I imagine she felt deeply hurt and injured. Another clue is found in verse 7.

“…her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.”

     Later in the chapter, Hannah describes herself as a “woman who is deeply troubled…praying in great anguish and grief.”
     As I think about this verse, there is something familiar about the behaviors and attitudes. I recognize them. The dynamics of the above dysfunctional relationship reflect my own experiences. Elkanah, Peninnah and Hannah were all going to worship the Lord where the sons of Eli were priests. In modern terms, they were going to church.
     There have been many times I felt deeply embarrassed and ashamed about the dysfunctional behaviors and attitudes within my family. So, in an effort to relieve my strong emotions of guilt and embarrassment, I put on a façade. It was the only thing I could do to avoid facing the hard truth.
     The good news is that God takes the real stuff of dysfunctional behavior and attitudes, transforming them into tools for shaping his good purposes. This does not mean that to maximize God’s purposes we should live in dysfunctional ways. Rather, it means that despite our inability to live above our dysfunctional ways, God transforms what we ourselves cannot do.
     When our hearts grieve in anguish over the embarrassing behaviors we feel ashamed over, we can learn to rest in a God whose warm love and compassionate grace accepts us just as we are; as he creates his beauty out of our ashes. Always remember an important point: Jesus died for the ungodly. He surrendered his entire life to reach those who rejected him. He suffered immense pain to communicate his unswerving desire to love those who don’t deserve it.